A Toxic Memory
by A Gold Guitar Charm
Summary: Eli & Clare have a fight in the woods, and what happens when the truth comes out, and they reveal things to each other that they've kept in secret? Does Clare chose her head or follow her heart? Does the romance of these two teenagers that has been flourishing beautifully continue or break down and shrivel into a toxic memory? AU. oneshot-


Okay, well here is another oneshot I wrote. It is really angsty, so I rated it T for self infliction. I hope you enjoy this fic, and it breaks your heart a little.

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The air was thick with tension as two teenagers stood feet apart in the dark woods fighting relentlessly, their voices echoing throughout the deafening silence that would often take over when they were to angry to speak. "Clare please, let me explain," a dark haired teenage boy with piercing green eyes beseeched, as he looked into the blazing blue eyes of his beloved Clare Edwards. "Why should I let you explain, Elijah Goldsworthy?" she retorted, her eyes emanating with hurt and fury. "Because what I did was stupid, I shouldn't of gave into her. I'm sorry." Apologizing sincerely always worked with her, but this times things were different. "Is that all you have to say?" Her voice rising with every word as she replied. "_My god_ Eli! I catch you with another girl and all you say is sorry?" Clare demanded, slamming her fists on the back of Morty, Eli's hearse. He could feel the hurt inside him fade away as it was replaced by anger.

He was ready to fight back. Eli looked at her, his green orbs which were begging for forgiveness just minutes before where now shining with fury."Well what else am I supposed to say? he said, feeling his blood boil. Eli inhaled a breath before finishing; "I'm not surprised, sorry isn't enough for you, because you're Clare Edwards:_ the girl who thinks she needs more than she is given._" As he averted his eyes to look at her position he noticed her hands were balled up at her sides, her angelic face was red with disbelief, rage, and hurt. But the most frightening part was her eyes, which were a darker blue which were glistening with tears that were threatening to spill. He had_ never_ seen her like this, it mad her look scary, and attractive all at once.

She took a couple of much needed deep breaths before walking up to him in five long strides, as their faces were now inches apart. "Well, I'm glad I know what you think of me, Eli, now let me tell you my opinion of you," those tears that were threatening to spill were now long gone, as if they had evaporated into the chilly air, leaving her darkened blue eyes twinkling with fire. "I think you're a clingy, narcissistic, scared, arrogant, black loving, freak." The words cut through Eli's skin like knives. He couldn't hold in any longer, he was going to explode if he did. Eli grabbed Clare's wrists, and forced her to look into his emerald eyes. "So all this time, you were lying to me?" he questioned his voice low and toxic with anger. "Telling me I was your everything, that you _**loved**_ me, and that I was unique?" When she didn't answer he squeezed her wrists, causing her cry out in pain. "Eli...please, I didn't mean -" she began, but she quickly fell into mute as he let go of her, and turned away.

He couldn't stand to look at her right now. His back still turned, he took a couple of steps away from her and ran his hands through his hair, then pressed the heels of his palms into his eyelids until he saw stars, then out of the blue he screamed. He screamed as loud as he could, as it was the only way to take out his frustration. Once Eli felt like he could control himself again, he turned back to see a frightened Clare with tears running down her flushed porcelain cheeks, as she was rubbing her red wrists. _I did that to her, _he thought to himself as he walked up to her. He gently took her shaking hands in his to inspect the damage.

The angry marks glared at him, as if telling him what a monster he is for hurting the girl of his dreams. Slowly, Eli lifted her wrists and gently pressed his lips against them. Clare shivered as his cold lips came in contact with the burning imprints, reminding her of ice water dousing a fire. As Eli gently lifted his head, he realized that her oceanic eyes were no longer angry, but overcome with remorse. Abruptly he felt something come over him as he took her face in his hands and crashed his lips onto hers.

This intimate moment was filled with desperation, sorrow, and roughness, to put it simply: it was messy. She tried to break the kiss by leaning back and shaking her head, but he was strong. When that didn't work she grabbed him at the shoulders and pushed him back so forcefully, as his lips dislodged off of hers, as he stumbled a few feet backwards. "What was _that_?" the brunette asked confused, and slightly dazed as her lips were swollen and tingling, and her heart was pounding in her ears. "I-i'm sorry," he stammered, "I just wanted to apologize properly, like i was do.. by kissing you and showing that I love you," he asked honestly his voice breaking from strain. "Well I guess I just don't feel that way anymore," she retorted her own voice breaking from emotion.

Clare then walked over to Morty, and opened the passenger door to grab her bag. As she closed the door and started to walk away Eli ran towards her, "Clare wait!" he cried panic stricken. He lightly grabbed her arm and spun her around, "At least let me drive you home,_ please_." She roughly wrenched her arm out of his feather light grasp and turned around. "I'll be fine, I'm not scared of the dark Eli," her voice lingering with harshness, which stung at Eli's already broken heart. He stood there almost paralyzed as he watched her walk away until she was out of sight. Slowly he walked back into Morty and sat in the drivers seat, before leaning over to the glove box and looking for a small pill bottle.

When he opened the bottle a small silver razor blade fell into his palm, glinting the pale shed of moonlight. He lifted his left blazer to reveal several scars on his forearm. Some were shiny and old while others were pink and in the final stages of healing. Eli slowly pressed the razor down and smoothly glided it across his skin. His arm felt as if it was being set on fire, but he didn't care was he repeated the steps ten other times and stopped as his brain began to swim from the overpowering metallic acrid scent of blood. He leaned his head back against the headrest and took a couple of breaths before opening his eyes and letting the tears run freely out of his bloodshot emerald eyes, down his pale cheeks, and onto his arm. He hissed in pain as the salty tears came in contact with the broken crimson stained skin. Then he realized he deserved his; he deserved pain, after everything he put her through he deserved it all, because if he didn't deserve Clare Edwards he sure as _**hell**_ didn't deserve happiness.

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Leave me reviews lovelies, xo


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